Ten Thousand Demons

Ten Thousand Demons is about the fears of children when they don’t know the facts—when silence replaces explanation and imagination takes over. The fear grows, expands, and mutates when there are no answers. The unknown becomes something larger, more haunting than reality itself, and can linger long after childhood.

I found out about my father's suicide in fragments, over many years, initially from the silence in the family surrounding his memory and then from newspaper clippings, coroner's reports, and eventual conversations with family members and the few of his friends that stayed in touch.

Searching through my father's Super 8 footage, disturbing images like skulls, teeth, and eyes emerge from a snowy scene. Through manipulating and collaging these stills, I visualize the eerie, psychological weight of my father's mental health struggles and suicide — and a childhood shaped by absence, silence, and unanswered questions surrounding his death. There is a tension between seeking a connection with my father and a haunting childhood fear of what I might find.